If you feel like you’re constantly self-sabotaging your own goals, you need to ask yourself this one question:
“What unconscious BENEFIT am I getting out of this self-sabotaging behaviour?”
We can all relate to a time where we have consistently sabotaged an expressed goal, whether it’s failing to stick to a diet, consistently skipping workouts or cardio, not showing up for practice, over-spending your budget or not doing the necessary work or study to build your career.
Logically, it makes absolutely no sense to get in our own way and make reaching our goals substantially harder, so why do we do it?
It all comes down to whether the goal you are trying to reach is truly in line with your CORE VALUES.
- Maybe you “feel” like you need visible abs, even though it requires sacrifices you’re unwilling to make.
- Maybe you “feel” like you have to compete, when really you want to take a break.
- Maybe you “feel” like you need to build up your savings, but aren’t willing to cut back on expenses.
- Maybe you “feel” like you need to further your education to please others, when really your passions lie elsewhere.
Failing to stay focused and do the work is simply feedback from your brain telling you that your goals are not aligned with what you truly want in life. Naturally you will want to gravitate towards what is truly valuable to you at that point in time.
In contrast, when you set goals that are aligned with those values, you’ll find yourself intrinsically motivated to go out and chase them. The drive is there. It just HAPPENS.
Rather than becoming frustrated and beating yourself up, ask yourself if the goals you’re chasing are truly yours, or someone else’s.
LOOK UP: Dr John DeMartini Values Determinant Quiz – If you haven’t done this already, here’s your homework. You’re welcome.